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We all live by our own decisions. Our choices in life makes us the person we want to be.

People come and go. Some people are meant to stay, some choose to go. Some people teach you a lesson some people, choose to grow with you.

I never thought that my relationship with my long time best friend who became my lover will come to an end. People say that we we’re lucky because of how our relationship grew into an envious kind of love story.

He was my college friend turned into a best friend and became my everything. Our love story did not start right yet it was imperfectly perfect. I was single, he was in a relationship with his ex and I found myself unexpectedly falling in love with him. It was so wrong my mind was battling with my heart. I had a hard time concentrating for our Philippine Nursing Licensure Examination last 2015. It really is hard to fight with our feelings especially when you find yourself falling with the person you can’t be with. It makes you fall in love more deeply with that person and that’s when I knew I really fucked up. I’ve been there and it was too risky I had to break down my walls and manners just because I followed my heart. I never regret doing that because at that moment, I knew it was all worth the risk. You were worth it because, you were my bestfriend.

You were my first love, I was your 7th and hopefully your last. We used to be so happy and even promised ourselves that nothing will keep us apart. I have a lot of questions on my mind and still hoping we could fix it but things are blurry right now and I can’t see clear.

Here I am, drowning at my own mistakes in life and i’m feeling helpless. I know that nobody can help but me.

People say if you love someone, you want him to be happy so you let him go and you do that even if it’s the HARDEST thing to do. The only person you thought could take care of you suddenly disappears and you have nothing left. Only sadness and loneliness was left because you gave everything to the person you love the most.

I am now left with nothing but myself. I even forgot how to stand up alone for I was too serious about you being my last.

Our story will be forever in my heart and it was a beautiful kind of pain. It may seem crazy but there will always be a part of me that only YOU can fix.

and if ever you will come back… i’m hoping that my heart still belongs to YOU.

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