More or Less

If I am going to explain our relationship it’s like a roller coaster. One day we’re friends, one day we’re more than friends & one day we’re like strangers. I’ve spent a lot of time wondering about my feelings for you. I’m sorry if I made you feel less. Sorry if I treated you different like the way you want me to. As much as I really wanted to say my real feelings for you, i was holding back. I was controlling my emotions cause I was confused. Really confused of my feelings for you. If you’re wondering if I like you, you’re right. I do like you. But what’s holding me back are your secrets. Cause it’s like when you like a person, you let her into you. You know, those little things & those meaningful conversations. It makes me wonder why you are being like that. I don’t know you well enough but I really want to get to know you. You’re like a big mystery.

For you to know, I’m the type of person who wants to be absolutely clear & 100% about my choices. I am a reserved person. That when I’m sure about something, I will definitely give everything cause I want that one special person deserves all that I have & I’ve never been into a relationship. I’m not good at this. Well, I was just actually starting. Starting to know what love is cause If you knew me way back when I was in highschool, I used to dump guys. I was a bad person but then now, i realized that it hurts. I can say, I wasn’t ready that time. So, maybe that’s the reason why I’m still single at this moment. I’ve been holding myself back for years cause I was scared to fall in love with the wrong person but nobody can say that plus i’m scared with my parents. Scared cause I said to myself back when I was in highschool, I wanted to be in a relationship with someone when I have something to prove to my parents. But when you fall in love, you’ll eat everything you have said. Falling in love wasn’t easy. Though I really don’t know what love is but i think it’s that magical feeling when you have butterflies in your stomach whenever you see your special someone. Your extremities are cold and sweaty, hot flushes all over your body. I don’t know. Lol just kidding. For me, love is when you accept the person who he really is, when you sacrifice, when you’re already hurt many times by that person, you’d still forgive him. Love is when you’re comfortable with each other, you enjoy everything & when you’re always happy with him. Love is when you grow up together and be matured. Love is when nobody can tear you apart. Love is when you will always find your way back together through thick & thin. Just like me and you. Lol. But at this moment, I think I’m ready. Ready to go out of my comfort zone and live. I want to explore and get to know myself better…with you.

If you think i’m too desperate for love, i would say no. I actually want to take things slow. I wrote this cause I just wanted to be sure that our feelings are mutual before I give in. I don’t care if you don’t like me back or if you want somebody else. I just wanted you to know to make things clear. We can still be friends anyway right? Thank you. Thank you cause you still taught me how to be like this. Anyway, thanks for reading! God Bless You 🙂

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